On New Years day as the UK was just hitting midnight... I arrive on the international dateline in Tonga after the most nerve tingling landing ever were a big Tongan rugby player who stole my seat next to the window as he confessed he was "not a good at flying" grabbed my arm in fear and squealed with fright then let out an enormous deep and contagious laugh of relief upon landing safely. The once a week plane from Auckland was bound for LA but makes a stop in Tonga, Samoa then LA this seems to cause much confusion for the airport staff...assuming that any non Tongan passengers disembarking the plane have made a mistake as I am informed in a jovial manner "there are no tourists here" by the staff as I try to get to the airports arrival area.
A traditional banjo type south pacific band of three big jolly men is playing in the arrivals area with gusto through the wind and rain seemingly as much for the customs, baggage and passport staff entertainment as for arriving passengers. I have three offers of a bed for the night from the friendly Tongan passengers as I wait for my luggage...on advice of the lonely planet I have booked a bed ahead...but start to wish I had not bothered as the experience of a genuine home stay (which I had tried and failed to arrange before my arrival) would have been wonderful.
I see a group of about 6 other non Tongan passengers arrive at the baggage collection area (which was a jumble of bags and strange packages wrapped in layers of cling film including several funeral wreaths made from plastic flowers) I later find out the other passengers are Mormon missionaries and should be avoided at all costs unless you want a good free school education in Tonga then it seems you should become a Mormon !
I arrive safely at my small guest house basically someones home like a UK B&B set up. Its very nice, I sleep well and set out the next day on a tour of the island with a guy who offers the only tour of the island...being as the buses are unreliable and taxis few and far between it seems reasonable. 'Toni' the driver has been living in Tonga for 18 years (although his accent is strong like he arrived yesterday) in his 70's, he has a Tongan wife and a family, he supplements his UK pension by acting effectively as a taxi tour service for what few tourists there are. He says there are approx 15 tourists currently on the main island of Tongatapu although I am the only one from England...Toni is from Leigh near Bolton in England...once again I am reminded that this is not only a very small island but a very small world and with insults like "you're a right head the ball you are" and "its spitting !" I am soon feeling rather at home and getting back into my North West lingo no problem.
Not exactly tropical...island reality 'my street'
There are over 170 islands making up the Tonga group spread out over 700,000 Sq Kms of ocean. You can literally loose your self on deserted islands which range from rolling forested hills to white sandy beaches with turquoise waters. However island hopping in Tonga is not so simple two options exist the kings airline (with some old WWII planes and no pilots) or a series of precarious cargo ferries taking up to 24 hours depending on the seas. Fafa island (below) was only an hour away from the main island. 
This was a slice of basic island paradise with beautiful traditional Fales (beach huts) coral reef and white sand. 
There she blows ! ... Mapu'a 'a Vaca blow holes are the most renowned in the south pacific and a lot of fun to while a way an hour or two with some ooohhs and aaaahs !
The place where time begins...or stands still in Tonga...ha'amonga'a maui trilithon the stone henge of the south pacific which is or was used to determine times dates seasons by aligning certain points with the stars apparently it stands right on the true world date line...but this is debatable.
The prized possession of the Tonga museum and cultural centre collection...the tortoise give by captain cook to the king of Tonga upon his visit. The tortoise lived to be 300 and odd years old then was stuffed and now takes centre stage.
A typical Tongan home at sunset...this really was the colour of the sky...amazing light
In Tonga you are faced head on with the harder side of a 'paradise' life in the South Pacific and its not always comfortable. Following the Nuka'Alofa (Tongas capital) riots in 2006 riots which were initially focused on the monarchy and class system there have been issues with racism towards the Chinese population who manage the imports into Tonga and all the corner shops which are essential to the lifeblood of the island. Many buildings were burnt down and destroyed...in true island time most of these have not been cleared or repaired. many houses were also target and remain looted and deserted but strangely guarded by guys in sailor outfits...making some areas of the island very eerie. The lack of democracy and the strangle of the new king has obviously had an impact of the way people live in Tonga there is a lack of will to do anything, and a real sense that someone else do it, the people seem to lack leadership they rely on mainly the Japanese to provide aid in the form of building roads hospitals and ensuring water supplies in return for votes of support from Tonga for Japans whaling plea. Tonga is not a self sufficient country but could be, there is no farming but there could be, they have an unsustainable way of life which relies on imported goods (mainly giant tins of greasy corned beef and 2 minute noodles) regardless of the consequences on the people or the environment. Tonga is changing hopefully for the better with a new democratic political system on its way but I hope its not to late for a country which is beginning to erode its people and land.
My local corner shop...Mr Yip and his corned beef...
The main island has over 300 churches. Only Christian based religions are allowed in Tonga and the churches are overwhelmingly Mormon west 7th day Adventists Jehovah's witness and a smattering of Anglican and catholic. Church is a massive part of daily life with services twice a day and three times on a Sunday I was lucky to experience "week of prayer' the week after new year, a holiday where everyone literally lives at their church and have a great time eating getting smashed on kava, singing dancing and oh praying. the Tongans can really sing the all the churches were booming with big voices, the congregation actually practice singing the hymns ladies and men have different parts and it appears more like a choir no one buries their head in a hymn book and drones into their chin... if church was like that I home I would start going. I went to a wonderful service and would sit for hours watching the church bands play whilst people danced around in the villages. Everyone was very festive wearing traditional fabrics that some would deem 'loud' but just seem ton suit the character and spirit of the people in Tonga so well. The men all wear traditional skirts and both men and woman wear a top skirt made of woven palm leaves and sisal some of them look just like sacks and others are intricate with woven flowers and beads.
Massive graves in the local cemetry...the more garish the grave the more respect you are showing...some graves have little houses built over them and marquees...on sunday afternoons families gather round with the dead person laughing and conversing.
The people of Tonga are the real tourist attraction. They are a laugh a minute, have a wonderful often rude sense of humour which for a country of such devoutly christian religion is refreshing, they sing literally like groups of angels and they don't have a McDonald's in the country yet they are the most obese people in the world which apart from the obvious health issues this brings means they are enormously kind, generous and cuddly ! I think if you made Tonga a home in a short time the Tongans would claim you as their own maybe this is what they meant by "no tourists"Island time is a concept that really does exist in the south pacific islands and probably other small small laid back islands in the world where things get done when they get done and only if they are very important in which case they can wait because the unimportant things in life can be left to go away...which is a rather nice idea. Submitting myself to island time was quite easy for me as I have been so very relaxed for a number of months (luck me !) but I can imagine it could be a bit of a test especially if you really needed to get a bus, plane train or were very hungary ! An example of island time in the bank...I walked in... there were several different ques with an array of purposes non of which i seemed to fit into ...with this confusion of ques i did not initially notice the massive amount of flashing Christmas lights and blaring Dolly Parton music ...most staff were chatting laughing but not working...the ques just waited and got bigger obviously living for that moment and having fun at work was more important than the job its self ! other examples include waiting for a buses and planes where drivers and pilots never turned up thus cancelling the services....apparently all common place !
A local lock in with the happiest man in the south pacific (centre) and his employees...
I went to a spectacular feast and dance on the beach with about 60 Tongans me and a couple from Lithuania it was a great experience the dancing was something else. Free from all concerns of health and safety the men performed dances traditionally used to intimidate the enemy and demonstrate their power and capabilities. Watching them spin around like yogic fliers, whack each other at high speed with sticks and throw fire spears around its easy to see why Tonga was the only south pacific island never to be colonised you would be absolutely terrified by these guys...especially in their traditional lava lavas (skirts !)
Fire dancing...
The Tongan audience whooped and screeched with delight and encouragement this was contagious and I found myself mesmerised and joining in. Traditionally the bodies of the dancers are covered in coconut oil making them glisten and anyone watching is encouraged to go over and stick a Tongan dollar note on the body you want ! I am suspicious as to how 'traditional' this action is as currency in Tonga is a rather new idea anyway could not choose a body as they were all very nice!
Families love to swim at any time and any place fully clothed they wallow and play in the sea, old fridges, boats and cars make great toys for climbing and jumping at the port!
The market sells a mix of crafts, hair gel, hair dye and some local root vegetables, bottles of home made kava in old wine bottles and sea cumber innards in vinegar...nice ! The market is a laid back affair with people sleeping on their stalls when the market closes, all the produce stays unguarded in the open until the next day.
Not now...take your melon... pay me later I am sleeping
random hair dye stall
I became known in Tonga during my short stay as "Miss England" it seems the coconut wireless really is alive and kicking in the island of Tonga everyone knew where I was and what I was doing. By the third day I did not have to walk far without being offered a lift to wherever I was going...most of the time I was in fact trying to kill time by taking slow walks everywhere ! I did not get the weather and certainly the main island of Tongatapu is not the place to come for a dream south pacific holiday (of which I was aware of before I arrived) but my week here has taught me much about real south pacific culture which I hoped it would and some of the major issues facing the region today such as religious influence, pollution and health . If i was to come here again I would defiantly come between April and November in the summer season and allow myself at least 3 weeks so that I could actually visit some of the larger island groups and swim with Whales (one of the only places in the world to do this if of course you want to take the risk and apart from the obvious impact it could have on the creatures ! yet another debate.) 1 week gave me a flavour of the place and was certainly long enough to explore the main island but time is needed to allow compensation for 'island time' broken planes, fully booked planes and rough seas.
Bye bye Tonga...local kids at sun set wait at the airport for the weekly Air New Zealand flight to arrive which I then boarded on my way to Samoa.
The street the nightmares were made of... One thing on my list of things to do in SF was to attempt to find the site of one of my reoccurring nightmares that has haunted me ever since I can remember having nightmares...it involved a very steep urban hill with a San Francisco tram loosing control and ending up in the bay. I found it and conquered my fear taking the plunge and going on a tram up and down the hill. 
SF Museum of modern Art - though provoking exhibitions by Jeff Wall and Douglas Gordon plus some very nice Rothkos ! Although SFMOMA was impressive and highly polished I made a visit to what was to be one of my favourite galleries of the past 6 months 'Creativity Explored' which is an inspirational project, studio and gallery space with a real mission http://www.creativityexplored.org/ 
Venturing into the many neighbourhoods of San Francisco was great fun each being very distinct and having thier own specialisms. I spent a night in the Mission area of town drinking pints of margaritas and munching a wonderful giant burreto with Tristen and Jane friends of travel buddy Jess who I met in Cambodia. Thanks or making me so welcome in your city guys ! 
Help I am cold and my nose is runny and red !
SF by night
On my way to Alcatraz
Arriving on Alcatraz for my spooky night tour on the island was a really unnerving experience, It was great to hear of all stories of the famous gangsters such as Al Capone who have graced the prison as well as the history of the place. The audio tour there is one of the best I have been on.
extracting coconut cream for dinner
